ADHD Relationship and Marriage, Part II

ADHD Relationships and Marriage,

Part II  

Hi welcome back! Relationships are hard without throwing in an ADHDer becaue many non-ADHDers don't understand our condition. Shoot, ADHDers don’t understand ADHD. Since, you are experiencing misunderstandings, and frustrations, you are looking to make your relationship work. 

I’m so excited to help you. Let’s do this…..

What you can do:

Recognize how ADHD plays in your relationship

Put yourself in your partner’s shoes

Keep the lines of communication open

Once a week, sit down with your partner and address issues

Always have a sense of humor to lighten misunderstandings

Study and research ADHD 

To transform your relationship, begin to understand the role our condition plays with the relationship. Once, you can identify how ADHD influences your everyday life and interactions, you will think of ways to better react to frustrations and encourage your ADHD partner. The ADHD partner will be able to better manage their ADHD.  

A person with ADHD, as myself, we have trouble paying attention. We may zone out during a conversation, leaving you feeling ignored and devalued. We are forgetful. We try to remember, but sometimes, we just forget. This causes you to feel like we don’t care or we’re unreliable. We have poor organizational skills. Sometimes, household chores become chaotic and left undone because we are trying to remember what we have to do next. This leaves you upset because we can’t finish one task at a time. We are impulsive, we say things without thinking and this can create hurt feelings. Our impulsiveness can make us irresponsible and reckless behavior. This leads to arguments concerning money. We have emotional outbursts if we fail to control our emotions. You will feel you are walking on eggshells.

This won’t be easy, but with practice the both of you will improve your communication. Learn to see things from their perspective by simply asking and listening. Let them describe how they feel without interruption. After they finished, repeat the main points you heard, and ask if you understood correctly. When it’s your turn, ask them to do the same by listening with an open mind.

Often times, the ADHDer feels:

Different

Overwhelmed

Subordinate to their spouse

Shame

Unloved/unwanted

Afraid of failure

Longing for acceptance

Create empathy in your relationship by asking your partner to join you in studing ADHD because it will be easier to spot the impact of each partner’s behavioral roles. Separate who your partner is from his/her behavior and symptoms. Remember, symptoms are not character traits. That goes for the nonADHDer partner, too. 

Our website: http://rediscoveringmywellbeing.com